Take A Shot

It's been a fair weekend. Not entirely unpleasant, but frustrating nonetheless. Evidence of what I have brought to those that I care for. They have gained nothing from my absurdity. In addition to holding on to my own control, I find my heart remains for Briseis unhealed. To have some wily love spell as a reminder only makes what happened this weekend far more aggravating.

Patroclus, I suspect your anger has not subsided. Good.

[Demeter]
As the end of this week nears, what you have requested of me before shall be done.
[/End Demeter]

[Not viewable to Patroclus]

Part of me would feel better if he'd just be mad at me. This tip-toeing around being angry with what's been done is disappointing, and I know not how to take it. Hit me. Yell at me. I've broken your trust, I've broken Briseis' faith in me, I've exploited my mother's support. Don't sit there and let me read between the lines it only makes the guilt even worse.

I was disillusioned and at my own desire for nothing more than power. You can hate me Patroclus, and I won't fault you for it.

[Strikes readable - as they are Achilles' thoughts instead of the ego that Hybris has created]

I'm growing rather tired of the constant watch dog. I am fine. This continuous interrogation will stop. Now if those that matter wish to be anything else to me than a corpse. I speak freely whether or not her thoughts are mine, I do as I see fit, there is no room for questioning and don't get in my way.

I'm loosing grip I am not so weak.

[Blocked from Thetis and Set]

I am not ashamed if my mother so chooses to be content on her own, with another, it has only ever been my wish that she be happy. She has spent a lifetime with her worries over me, and I have given her nothing but strife by following the only life I know. It comes natural to me to think she is always there, will always be there, and answer me when I call out to her. Perhaps I have become too hopeful of that, and in following my own path, did I ever leave her any room for her own happiness? Did I leave room for happiness for any that I care so deeply for?

An anger still swells inside of me, it makes coping at times tiresome. It is a transition, a reversal of all I have learned and I refuse to loose myself in the process. Carl has often spoke of similar feelings in overcoming his own trauma. It makes neither of us so different, no matter the years of war a man has fought. Time has no relevance to what what goes through.

One thing is certain, I have not forgiven Set for the things he has done, as of now I am indifferent to him making cat calls to my mother.

It has been a peaceful few days. Though I am unsure of how long that will last, my mood is wavering in a way that dissatisfies me. I think I blacked out earlier. I will not be defeated by this. Using the opportunity during quiet times to work on the new script. Visiting Carl and hearing his stories not only gives me a sense of understanding, but the urge to write.

[Mother]
You are doing well I presume? Hephaestus won't allow me to see you and that makes me angry I needed time. Perhaps when you choose to visit I could see you.

It's disheartening to see a person who used to be so upstanding, kind and gentle, ruined by greed and senselessness. His life changed from the moment he returned, finding that it wasn't the bright place he used to see it as. War changes a man in that way.

I wasn't sure the reason I went back to that place. This time it was under no recommendation. Just a simple request, and one I was not able to deny. Perhaps it was better for both of us. There is a common ground and understanding when speaking with a fellow comrade.

[Kismine]

Excuse the distance in these last few weeks. I had not meant to cause you any strife. Perhaps it was the the horrid weather. I am feeling more myself.

The rain puts me in an unfavorable mood today. Do not try to call, I will not answer.


[Hephaestus]
I should like to see my mother. Would that be acceptable with you?

Well, that was certainly an unexpected surprise. In New York of all places. Had my computer lost power while working on the new script, I would have been in an unfavorable mood. The woman at the coffee shop however was unpleasant at best. As a veteran I may have been apprehensive, but her needless chatter and commentary was unwanted. I was not there to socialize.

Patroclus, I assume you are well. I have yet to hear from you since the premiere. What ever is wrong with you? You were acting bizarrely  it made me slightly uncomfortable.

Quit hiding if you will.

[Hector]
I do hope your tiresome brother has nothing to do with Helen missing.
[/End]

As far as Sabine is concerned, I am pleased. Let it be a reminder to any director that feels he can surpass it. Not this year. Aside from the victory, I must keep off my leg, or so that is the prescription this week. Remind me to thank that worthless Trojan prince when I see him again. I'll gladly make him run with his tail between his legs for the bruised heel. I'm sure your aim wouldn't be so lucky this time.

[Private to Hephaestus]
She favors you in a way differently from me, my mother. Perhaps...

I should like to speak with you.
[/End]

[Private to Elisabeth]
You were an excellent companion, and I appreciate you being there. Next time, I'll stay a little longer.
[/End]

There are two weeks before Sabine is given a proper introduction. I am most proud of this piece, and expect the premiere to be just as monumental as the work that went into it. I have been involved in many projects that have to say the least, stretched past just mere entertainment and into something deeper. I am not about the glamor, the glitz of making a film that the studio wants, I make these films for myself, to share my experiences as they should be told. I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

This time, this time it is my chance to shine in a different light, and I have used that to step outside of the director's chair. I am most pleased with the turnout, and it will be the best the entertainment world has seen this year. For that I am certain.

There are many faces I expect to be there, and let's hope none of you become a disappointment.

[Patroclus]
I am grateful to you, for the other day and the time you spent with Kismine. The fact that you took a step forward on her behalf, or mine, is appreciated. I do not wish her to feel as if she is confined to me and only me.

Is that what honorable men are reduced to, paralyzed by the very country that they fought and served with?

I saw a man today, parked in a wheelchair on the side of the road, waving the only sign of his allegiance to his time served with this country. His American flag. In that moment he dropped his pride, his honor, gave up the power he once held in his weapon, grace and strength because of the lack of respect. They fight, forge through and endure what I have endured for centuries from one war after the next, and what is returned? Some gratitude. When these men and women, some that have lost more than their limbs, homes and families, are left with nothing. It sickens me. If anyone should live comfortably for time well spent it is the veteran that comes back to a world that the rest do not understand.

[Private/Viewable to Thetis, Patroclus, Briseis, Helen and Kenneth]

I spoke to someone the other day. While I find him pompous, he brought an understanding between myself and this life I hang onto. Though the clarity in 'what' war I have served in is changed, the context is still the same. From the way he speaks, I take he has dealt with the same himself. Kenneth you did your research.
[/End]

( Phonecall to Briseis )

A warrior of the sun, he hunts his shadow.
The moons of his fingers, the skin of his thumbs...
Joint by joint, concatenating bones
Make cause compel effect, despite the gripe.


I am not myself today.

/Private to Achilles/Viewable to Patroclus, Briseis and Thetis/

You don't know how it burns. How it takes the breath from my lungs and makes my throat dry.

My pride is everything, yet I feel it unraveling.

/End Private/

( OOC )

Yet, another prince makes his appearance. Overconfident and with a deceitful tongue, though far braver than his foolish brother.

Shall our paths cross again, perhaps you will not be so bold as before.

I have returned from my time away, confident that certain matters are progressing; however slowly, leaving my temper cooled. For now. Should any injustice be thrown at those that I care for again, you can trust that I will not lay back so easily. If not for interference and her request, vengeance would be served.

Though the departure from Montana with Patroclus was not desired, Briseis is within safety. I do hope that she does not linger for too long before returning to New York.



Thetis, should you care for lunch tomorrow, I will be available.

This weekend I will be unavailable should anyone dare to intervene. Pressing matters are at hand that will not be pushed aside. When I return, I expect things to start going accordingly. Helen, our shoot is not forgotten, do not assume I mislead you. I will contact you when necessary.

( Patroclus )

[Private to Achilles, Open to Thetis, Helen and Patroclus]

Sitting with my hands stilled, watching her fight her sleep and tears. I never wished such things upon her. It is a grievance that I in my absence could not understand. It gnaws inside of me. A darkness that I am familiar with. One that riled me when one closest to me was taken away. An anger of injustice done to one it does not belong to. Dare I to say, a guilt.

I may have stilled from lashing out at the one responsible, but I make no promises. I will not be dishonest with myself.

[/Private]

( Thetis )

( Helen )

The shield is down and stripped of armor.

Time to release my mind to another and go back to the beginning. To ease what cannot be tamed and let the world settle within me.

[Private to Thetis]

Thetis, mother, it is time. That which you ask of me, I will do. To make the past what is passed, and the future a new reign of glory.

[/End Private]